Barely able to stand, I see the grief in my heart reflecting to me in the bathroom mirror. My eyes are flooding with warm, cascading tears from the agony beating in my shattered heart. It is about 3 months since my oldest son, Krystofer’s, shocking death, which ripped the rug out from underneath me. In this moment of deep despair, I surrender to the pain and pray what feels like are the only words that could possibly save me,” God take this pain from me. I don’t know how to heal it.” I am praying for a miracle to heal my broken heart.
After I desperately prayed those words, petitioning for God’s intervention, I heard, “You are seeing with your eyes and not with your heart.” My prayer was heard! I was given guidance. This prayer of surrender led me to a path beyond my wildest imagination. God seems to be leaving breadcrumbs before me about the ways (spiritual tools and practices) to navigate this mysterious and emotional path. The path I currently travel has been known for centuries as The Way of the Rose:
A path of Gentleness. Love. Beauty.
A path back to remembering and embracing the Divine Feminine/Mother.
A path back to the laws of God/Nature…the cycles and seasons of life.
A path back to honoring the rhythm living within each one’s heart that is desiring to be expressed through their body temple in this lifetime.
A path back to the Christed Heart.
One of the few ways, I work with the rose is by praying the rosary. It offers me the opportunity to go inward. The pattern of repeated prayers calms my mind and grounds me. The rosary can be compared to other prayer beads, such as the mala. When people pray the rosary, they walk through the mysteries and cycles of life (birth, death, rebirth). This has been what my heart has been yearning… living from the rhythm in my heart while aligning with the rhythm of life (nature).
Recently, I had a meltdown. My morning is sacred time spent in contemplation and prayer. This precious time had become interrupted over the past few weeks with other tasks (appointments, phone calls, text messages). I was feeling like a tightly wrung wash cloth that could not be twisted any further. I cried and prayed to Mother Mary to comfort and help me. Once again, I surrendered in prayer. I grabbed my rosary and began praying the prayers (Hail Mary, Our Father, Glory Be, O My Jesus, Hail Holy Queen). I was feeling more and more peaceful as each cool, Connemara (Irish Marble) bead passed through my fingers from one devotional prayer to the next. A Divine love was gently washing over my agitated mind and heart. Each prayer was helping me to tune into my heart space. I was finding my rhythm. My groove. My center. The peacefulness in my heart.
What do I mean by "my rhythm?" It is being in touch with my soul and allowing it to express and respond to life in the ways it desires. Each of us is uniquely designed. We are not all meant to fit inside one box like the systems of world try to tell us. We are here to be an individuated expressions of our Creator. You are here to be you!!! In fact, your rhythm may change from time to time depending on your activity or experience. Your rhythm helps you navigate your journey of life.
I am devoted to listening and dancing to the rhythm that lives inside me. The Way of Rose can help those who feel called to get in tune and dance from the rhythm within their heart.
My prayer for you is that you find your rhythm. Your Groove. Your centeredness.
To dance the song playing in your heart.
When we all dance to the rhythm pulsating from our souls, we can see and experience the beautiful choreography of all hearts beating as Love from the One Heart.
Love and gratitude,