Out of death a new way of living can be born. I have come to know the power of this truth. As many of you already know, my oldest son, Krystofer was tragically killed 3 years ago. The pain of this experience shattered my heart into a million pieces and brought me to my knees in DEEP, DEEP grief. A part of my heart left when my beloved son exited this earthly plane. Every day, I live with the heartbreak parents never want to know and feel. My greatest fear of losing a child is now a reality.
Grief has been a true companion for the last 3 years. It walks with me through the beauty of my life and falls from my eyes in sorrowful tears because of the heart wrenching pain rooted in never getting to see my son’s eyes, smile, or hear his voice tell awesome stories about the musicians he was interviewing. I have been riding the crazy emotional rollercoaster of twist and turns, ups and downs, and sometimes smooth coasting with grief. Now, I am finally feeling like the phoenix rising from the ashes…ready to fully embrace my life. LIVING is the way to honor my son, to keep his loving presence shining in the world.
My passion for serving humanity has always resided in the healing arts that addresses the mind, body, and spirit. I can feel the healer archetype dancing deep within my soul. I worked for 20 years as a bodywork counselor. My clients received intuitive healing that integrated massage therapy, energy work, and spiritual counseling to meet their healing needs and wellness goals.
I am joyfully grateful to introduce my new online business, The Intuitive Heart. My healing practice has been reborn out of my grief. Years ago, I had a spiritual teacher tell me, “You’re here in this lifetime to teach about the intuitive heart, which will be your business name.” Wow!!! What a cool name, I thought. However, I was not in a mental place to claim this personal truth. I felt people would judge me for thinking I was better or more special than them. Also, I had the belief of not being intuitive or wise enough yet to claim such a title. The Intuitive Heart would seem egotistical to many people…at least that is what the ego self was screaming in my mind. Now, I am quite aware it was my own fear (judgments/insecurities) loudly shouting and keeping me paralyzed from embracing the intuitive heart’s calling.
Coming face to face with your greatest fear can loosen the grips of self-sabotaging beliefs and judgments that keep you from living in your heart. The heart is a powerful and helpful communicator if we will take the time to tune into it.
I can remember people telling me how to handle my grief. These were people who did not know the heartbreak of burying a child. Many people would avoid me or say, “Just do this. Just do that.”
Krystofer was killed on my 2nd son, Matthew’s birthday. I didn’t know how to celebrate Matthew’s birthday while recognizing Krystofer’s angelversary on the same day. Friends told me to just focus on Matthew that day. Believe me, I tried. My heart didn’t forget though. It aches on that day no matter how hard I tried to focus just on celebrating Matthew’s birthday. I couldn’t override my heart.
I felt and accepted my grief. I didn’t run from it or analyze it, which is what our culture is accustomed to doing.
I am finished being afraid to speak and live from the truth of my heart.
Grief has given me the power to honor myself. To stand in my power. TO BE FREE To BE ME!
The Intuitive Heart is a place for me to wholeheartedly show up and help other people connect and live from their hearts. Together we will work to release fears that keep them from living a life of happiness, abundance, love, and harmony through spiritual counseling and energy work. This is not always easy or fun work, but I don’t mind getting in the mud and getting dirty to help remove the blocks and find happiness.
A new chapter is being written. I am grateful and joyful to write this chapter from a space of love (my heart) and with the support of all of you.
Love and gratitude,